To the FJ, Feliz Dia del Amor y Amistad

I have been reading a lot lately since I am unemployed and cannot make crafts at all hours of the day, and I have discovered that once you suppress the feelings of guilt at being so self-involved, it works out well. I am currently in the middle of Narcissus and Goldmund, by Herman Hesse, loaned to me by Carrie, and Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives, by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. The former is the story of a friendship between two men who couldn't be more different, as one, Narcissus, is driven by his masculine side, and the other, Goldmund, by his feminine side. Goldmund wanders around homeless making love to women and becomes an artist, which explains a lot about me and my choices as a female. I love it.
The latter was checked out of the public library by my mother, who wanted to preview it to decide if it would be helpful for one of my cousins who is having real problems deciding if her fiance is the man she really wants to marry (no one else seems to think he is). I grew up listening to Dr. Laura's radio show on the way home from school in the afternoons, and I have never forgotten the self-proclaimed voice of reason that speaks into the lives of women who have concentrated all their life energies into a man (who usually is a bum or a louse, as it would seem). I haven't made it past the first chapter, but I want to share something from it:
"It just seems such a tragic waste to see young women suffering needlessly by having no independent goals, to observe them acting so stupidly. I can't tell you how many twenty-something women I've talked to over the years who are furious with the young men in their lives who don't want to get married just yet because they're working practically full-time getting their education and/or building their careers. If you're one of those women, take his hint-- or follow his example! Because, as I've said, men do have traits we'd be smart to adapt."
Now, I cannot speak for the rest of the book, but what I draw from and appreciate about what I have read so far is that she posits that women can and should do many things for themselves aside from hinging her whole life on a man, although she celebrates the positive qualities of men. My Mom asked if I thought the book was helpful, and I said that I think my friends and I are a bit outside of the target audience as we all have our big ideas, strong opinions and wild dreams, plus an insatiable sense of adventure. Now, that doesn't mean we don't have some pretty sweet lovers, but our lives can exist independently (case in point: long-term separations that don't kill the relationships) and we are still free and confident enough to pursue what makes us happy, like teaching English and environmental education, working with high-need populations, writing, drawing, reading, traveling, serving others, learning languages and supportive friendships that will carry us through it all. And we realize that we can learn a lot from boys, but that we most need to learn to be and love ourselves, since we that's who we never will be able to escape. So, cheers to my beautiful friends and all the women who find inspiration and power in being female and having male partners who support but do not consume them.
Sort of related, the woman who is teaching my adult education acrylic painting class, Laura Parker, is facilitating a "state-wide contemporary art exhibition about growing up female in Kentucky." So, all my talented friends, you have until May to submit your writings, art or music for the project. See the blog: http://kygirlhoodproject.blogspot.com/
Lots of love to you, today and always.